Thursday, January 12, 2012

I love America

So heres what went down (from what i remember)

Woke up at 5.30pm and went for a trawl to the pier had a big delicious feed blah blah blah ordered a full moon drink special asked if it was nice and he said if you like pumpkin.....ok........So it was a beer with pumpkin flavour that shit was saaa craigggg! The bar keep was very suprised when i ordered 3 more ended up chatting to the owner and scoring acouople of free drinks and had a few shooters (shooters mean shots for those that dont know aka me) Then had a 'red hearded slut' and 'surfer on acid' Was super pissed after dinner trawled back to the hostel bought two six packs and started handing them out to all the loser faggots on their laptops and eating dinner who werent even drinking yet! I wanted to get the party started pump everyone up before the pub crawl because they were all so far behind me. Sat down with some spanish dudes who laughed in my face when i told them my name was Marika which apparently means gay in spanish......ASSHOLES! Then some dude comes over and yells out "Whos the trouble maker handing out all the beers huh?" Appppparently your not aloud alochol at the hostel WTF no alcohol this is retaded. He goes "Im going out to have a ciggy when i come back you better have them all finished" Im sure you can all imagine my disbelief "WE cant drink here?!?! I think im staying at the wrong hostel"

Anyway i stumble upstairs to get my bag before the pub crawl i burst into my room and theres an American chick id never met before sitting on the ground packing her bag she goes to introduce herself and i butt in "What the hell are you doing women pub crawls in 10 minutes get ready!!' shes like "ohhhhh I cant come im leaving tomorrow and i dont have any money left" i just start throwing all her clothes around looking for something she can wear she was so fucking scared "Omg what the fuck are you doing you crazy bitch!?! me "Come on quick bitch get ready where not here to fuck spiders" "That doesnt even make sense," EXACTLY! "Omg omg omg ok ok ok im coming i cant believe im doing this!" I think she came purely because i was 1 more drink away from slapping her face. Finally got Jennifer (J Dog) ready and we rushed down stairs the pub crawls starting i was so fucking pumped up i almost pissed myself outside. everyone was scared. I may or may not have tried to fly kick people on the street. Definitely thought we were getting on a bus but no we were definitely walking around the city. I introduced everyone to the Australian shoey and at first they were disgusted but they soon learned to love it (chicks not so much) all the boys were doing shoeys out of my shoe! The only douche bag on the pub crawl was this Australian dude who thought it was his obligation as another aussie to look after me berrr! I fly kicked him too

I was dancing like crazy im talking super crazy like Emma Sweeny after eating 10 pingas and sack of goey. walked out of the club with a drink and stoped a bus to do the Jimmy Shuffle and then yellled out "Its ok im Australian" danced on stage with the band at two places some guy gave me a noogie and i picked him up and tried to throw him (oh and everything i am telling you now i dont remember at all just caught up with the boys and they filled me in said there whole day was entertained by reminicing what id been doing last night). Where playing black jack tonight yeeeeeee! There all going to Vegas tomorrow and im contemplating going with them but dont have a way home.... might just take the risk

So after we got booted from the last place that reminded me so of sol bar pretty much nothing like sol bar except the band anyway acouple of us went back to the dudes house who was running the pub crawl. We bought the biggest mother fuckin pizza i have ever seen and kept drinking beer till all hours someone pulled out the pipe and we smoked weed till we all passed out. That shit was dope! Im talking real crazy shit i was FUCKED UP! Someone was poking me when i woke up apparently i was going "Suck me off...suck me off dumb dog" when they tried to wake me hahaha this guy drove me home and asked me out on date friday night. So if he keeps to his word ill let ya know how that goes ha where every we go im ordering ribs

So first night in US stayed at a locals drinking beer smoking weed and eating pizza till the sun came up! Classic M DOG. Walked into the hostel today and got a few claps and "Shes alive!" and "Your a crazy mother fucker you ripped my shirt up!" was supposed to go on a tour at 11am but didnt wake up till 2pm to some mexicans cleaning my room. I think i said bye to Jen half asleep she had fallen in love with a British dude who i was hanging out with just before he was not so in love. Did root her on the beach like a boss though. She left me her healthy choice microwave dinner which im pretty stoked about. ANyway went and got my hair cut today by a super gay his name was Scott he had a lisp and really got into his hairdressing he was thrusting and moaning every time he grabbed a piece of hair told me all about the best gay clubs to go to California....ok..... I do love my hair cut though

Hope you all got pissed thursday for uni night! 

Im out